I started my career in 2020. Since then, I have spent a lot of time with leaders who have been in the game longer than I have been an adult. I’ve gotten used to being the youngest person at the table, something I do not take for granted. Close enough to Gen Z to understand the mindset, but close enough to leadership to see where the disconnect happens.

Everyone has a lot to say about the “Gen Z problem,” but I can’t help thinking they’re asking the wrong questions.

Logging off at 4:59. Dreaming of promotions without putting in the legwork. I get it. But I am not here to defend every Gen Z behavior; I am here to translate.

You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know

When I walked into the office of my first job six months after being a virtual employee, I felt a jolt of what I had been missing out on. From that moment, I started going in almost every day.

There were countless unspoken lessons that could only be absorbed by being a few desks away: how to lead a meeting, when to offer help without being asked, why you do not leave before your boss leaves (and yes, even what to wear). All those tiny clues disappeared when everything went remote.

I did not know these “rules” until I watched my more experienced team members up at bat, or someone simply spelled them out for me.

The further we get from the pandemic, the more I realize that many of my peers never got to have that conversation. You cannot be wrong for what you have never experienced.

So when you hear push-back on return-to-office mandates, it is not laziness. But the absence of information, and not seeing the impact it can make on not only their lives, but also their happiness at work.

Maybe it helps to: Pause and notice what someone might not know yet. Share why being in the room matters, and the mentorship moments that shaped you. Be clear about expectations – from showing up on time to what it takes to get ahead. Clarity is kind, and often what feels like resistance is just unfamiliarity.

The Cost of Climbing

One thing we cannot avoid talking about is how the math has significantly changed. Maybe 20-30 years ago, working 80-hour weeks to climb the corporate ladder was worth the hustle. A promotion meant saving to buy a house, building wealth, and securing your future. You could see the payoff at the end of the tunnel.

Now, a promotion could mean paying rent that is 50% of your paycheck, before even getting to the groceries. Side hustles that are not a distraction, but often a financial necessity. Something that might actually help build security, instead of living paycheck to paycheck.

Gen Z is not less ambitious. We are doing cost-benefit analysis in real time. When the answer to “where does this lead?” looks like “you will still be renting at 35, just with a better title,” the motivation to sacrifice work-life balance shifts.

In other words, the grind that once paid off no longer stretches as far. I think acknowledging that gap might help close it a bit.

One thing I’ve noticed: Ask questions and really listening to what drives someone can reveal a lot. It’s easy to assume what motivated you will motivate them, but that’s rarely the case. The corporate ladder that was once a sturdy, reliable one leads somewhere different now.

The Trap of Comparison

Sometimes what sounds like “they are not doing it right” is actually “It is hard to watch someone else do it differently.” And I really do understand that feeling.

But here is the question I keep coming back to: is it because those choices were wrong, or because they were never accessible options for you? I have asked myself the same thing when certain feelings come up. I pause and wonder, where is this actually coming from? Sometimes, the frustration isn’t really about work at all. It is about watching someone set boundaries you wish you had set.

The strongest managers I have worked with do not just think “I would never do that” and stop there. They pause, get curious, and hold onto what worked in their experience while keeping an open mind that the way forward might look different now.

Every generation finds a new way of working. That does not make the old way wrong, it just might mean it’s not the only playbook.

An idea to try: Instead of “we did not do that” try “tell me more.” Listen for the why behind the behavior. What can I learn from this difference, and what can I teach?

The Only Constant Is Change

At the end of the day, everyone, regardless of age, wants the same thing: meaningful work, a team that has their back, and a chance to grow.

If there is one thing I hope you think about, it is this:

To my Gen Z peers: The workforce existed and thrived for decades before we showed up. What are we missing by not leaning in?

To senior leaders: When you have encountered this frustration, have you thought of asking yourself if it is about their performance, or about watching someone take a path you could not?

The gap closes when both sides give each other the time to listen and the space to learn.